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Language is the ability of human beings to produce, develop and understand language and other manifestations of communication - such as painting, music and dance. Language, in turn, is an organized set of elements (sounds and gestures) that make assertive communication possible.
According to relationship counselor Gary Chapman, there are five basic languages through which love is expressed and understood. According to the expert, each individual is born with a specific way of identifying, receiving and giving love. This process is called language, and the various ways of expressing it are called "dialects".
Trying to show love through a particular language to someone who also has a particular language is like making a declaration in Portuguese to an American who has never had contact with the Portuguese language. The first step in expressing your love for another person, therefore, is to identify your language of love and also the language that the person you love uses to do so.
Find out how you can be more assertive in your emotional communication by downloading these exclusive tips we've prepared especially for you!
You can already tell that love is in the air here, can't you?! That's why, today, I invite you to join me in this reading, to learn more about the existing love languages and how each one is expressed, so that you can identify which language is yours and that of the people around you.
The 5 languages of love
We all know that every human being is unique. What we often overlook and end up not giving importance to is precisely the particularities of each person, putting our way of seeing the world around us as a priority over other people.
Well, from the moment we start to observe those around us, their way of acting and expressing themselves, we have the possibility of establishing much more efficient and assertive communication with them, which can generate highly positive results for both parties.
With this in mind, Gary Chapman, author of the book "The Five Love Languages", shows us the main ways we use to express ourselves when it comes to interpersonal relationships. Check it out:
Words of affirmation
These are sentences expressed in compliments such as "Dinner was great", affirmations such as "I think you do that very well" and encouragements such as "Everything will be fine". There are people who use this kind of language to express their love for someone and those who feel highly valued when they hear statements like these and many others.
I say this because those who know me, and also those who have had the opportunity to go through some of the training courses here at IBC with me, know that I often emphasize the power that words have over our actions. Just as they can uplift us, they can also make us feel bad, unwilling to carry out our activities and even unmotivated.
It is therefore essential to always be aware of the energy you spread around you through your words, as they can harm not only the people around you, but also yourself. Ideally, you should be vigilant and, whenever possible, offer your support through words of affirmation to those who need it, especially those who are better at receiving this kind of language.
Quality of time
It's about dedicating an exclusive amount of time, however small, to those you love most and want to be close to. The expressions or dialects can be: quality conversations, walks, watching TV together, going to the movies, making appointments with close friends at least once a week, and so on.
I believe that this is one of the most essential languages today. The thing is, with the rush and the amount of demands that need our attention on a daily basis, we end up missing out on spending time with or meeting people who are important to our very existence. As a result, we lose touch and, as life goes on, we may not even find ways to get back together with these people.
It is therefore essential that we find time, that we dedicate a period of the day to truly being with our spouses, our children, friends, family and all those people who consider our presence to be of real importance. More than gifts, what these people really want and deserve is for us to be with them body and soul, without any apparent worries.
Gifts
In this language, what matters less is the financial value, because love can be expressed through a flower, a pizza or a piece of jewelry, for example. What is important here is the symbolic value of the gift, since the person receiving it feels immensely grateful, happy and fulfilled when they realize the importance and meaning it has in their life.
For people who feel loved through this language, the fundamental thing is to know that the gift is being given from the heart, with the real intention of pleasing and leaving a mark, making them feel remembered, even when they are away.
Gestures of service
Here, what you do counts more than any words. Ways of expressing yourself, such as washing the dishes, fixing the lock, taking out the garbage, taking the car to be washed, among other acts of service, show the person how important they are to you, and above all that you do everything you can to see them happy and fulfilled.
So, my tip here is to pay attention to the ways in which you can be of service to people, making them feel valued and even motivated by you. As well as being loved, the chances of making these people happy are very high.
Physical touch
Kisses, hugs, nudges with the elbow, hands on shoulders, sexual relations, gentle touches on the body, holding hands, among other gestures, represent this language of love. More than just knowing that love exists, some people need to feel it physically. That's why they make a point of receiving affection through touch, so that they also feel more secure.
When we love someone very much, regardless of whether we are in a romantic relationship with them or not, we want to show it in every way possible. And when this love is intense, it spills over and ends up being expressed through a cuddle, a tight hug, a massage, kisses and so on.
But it's worth remembering: it's important to know if the other person also wants to receive love in this way, otherwise you run the risk of invading their space and ending up not liking it.
You have to stay alert and observe intensely
In practice, we know each of these languages well and even use them in our daily lives. When you put it like that, it seems like a very simple thing, and indeed it is. However, in order for the love languages to be well used and effective, it is necessary to remain attentive at all times, observing everything and everyone around you.
Another tool that can help you boost the way you communicate with friends, family, spouses, lovers and the like is to check out these killer tips we've put together especially for you!
Each individual has their own main language and, even if someone says "I love you" in one of the other four languages, they won't be able to identify that expression of love. That's why it's important to know how to use the right language and to exercise day after day to get to know the dialects through which your expression is really absorbed.
This is one of the many philosophies advocated and applied by us here at IBC, especially in Professional & Self Coaching - PSC, the most complete coaching training that helps individuals, professionals and companies to improve their perceptive capacity even further, thus enhancing communication in all the environments they travel through.
Allow yourself to go further and get to know PSC to make your communication assertive, both personally and professionally!
How's your self-esteem?
Certainly the people around us, whether they are close to us or not, deserve all the love and respect we have to give them. However, we also need to pay attention to ourselves, always paying attention to our needs and desires, so that we are physically and emotionally able to spread love wherever we go.
Have you ever stopped to think about how your self-love is? Have you treated yourself with the care and respect you deserve? Are you attentive to your own happiness? Are you able to understand your emotions and feelings, pushing all the weight and guilt away when necessary?
I believe that in order to spread love around the world, giving it to the people around us, it is essential to first be attentive and take care of our emotional needs. This is because we need to be with ourselves, with our self-image, so that we can then help and offer everyone the love they also deserve.
So I think it's important to share with you some tips that will further improve the relationship you have with yourself.
The first of these is to download this material, prepared exclusively for you, who care about keeping your self-esteem high.
Invest in your self-knowledge
In order to know how to love ourselves first and foremost and thus improve our relationships as a whole, we need to understand everything that surrounds us and is part of us. The first step to this is to invest in self-knowledge, in other words, to learn deeply about our inner workings, what motivates and demotivates us, what our dreams and goals are, our strengths, which we can help to achieve, as well as our points for improvement, which can end up getting in the way.
By being aware of all this, you can improve your self-esteem and self-love even more, and also understand the ideal love language to use with yourself.
Trust yourself
Beware of self-criticism! When we don't have a well-developed sense of self-worth, we end up giving in to the pressure that self-criticism puts on us and over-charging ourselves. Therefore, in this process, it is essential that we know how to give ourselves credit, trusting in our abilities and skills, so that we know how to deal correctly with the failures and frustrations that may arise in our evolutionary journey.
